"Hello. I am stock image of a woman doing yoga in a remote, idyllic, undisclosed location.
(It's Catalina. Just off the coast of Santa Barbara, but meant to look like Spain, I think. I'm not Spanish, even though my hair is like, literally erotic here.)
When I'm not stock imaging, I do catering jobs for local "people" like Ellen and Oprah and try to convince my family and followers I'm all good and living my best life.
To be honest, I don't even do yoga. This pose kinda hurt."
(It's Catalina. Just off the coast of Santa Barbara, but meant to look like Spain, I think. I'm not Spanish, even though my hair is like, literally erotic here.)
When I'm not stock imaging, I do catering jobs for local "people" like Ellen and Oprah and try to convince my family and followers I'm all good and living my best life.
To be honest, I don't even do yoga. This pose kinda hurt."
Friends, it's me again. Taren.
Listen, yous.
If you want a REAL yoga selfie, go to Iceland and balance yourself over the biggest crack on earth.
It's a tectonic splinter the locals call "Ishlizzo."
Or, teach yoga, like I did with this adorable baby.
In Sanskrit they call this pose, "Spitasana."
What you can't see is that he's also in fully extended diaper pose.
In Sanskrit they call this, "Shitasana."
I taught him yoga early because the planet is hot and possibly fucked for humans in 100 years (I hear) and yoga might be a great way for him to connect with a power greater than himself.
It was also a nice break from singing those stupid kid songs for 7 hours straight.
At some point, this child will learn that all living things die.
This lesson will start the day his father brings home a dog and says,
"Kids, I brought home a heartbreak 12 years from now!"
(That's a George Carlin joke.)
Humans are the only species with death awareness.
I think. I don't know.
Dolphins and some apes probably know.
And I knew a dog who once knew that he was going to die.
I wrote a story story about it.
It's on the next page.
Humans have always been up against the existential threat of death, but we distract, deny and anesthetize ourselves from what Kierkegard called "death anxiety."
To distract, deny, and continue to numb yourself from YOUR existential crisis, you've probably tried the following in no particular order.
alcohol
Ted Lasso (it's no Sopranos, people, settle down. it's cute, at best.)
drugs
overeating/undereating/vomiting
pharmaceuticals you don't need
pharmaceuticals that aren't yours
the internet (except this site, obv)
the news
porn that makes you feel worse after
gambling when you can't afford to
overthinking or obsessional thinking
auto play ON on any device
feeling like a victim, even if you were one of something
wishing the world was fair
faking a brain injury (I did this one in 5th grade!)
joining a cult (I think I'm doing this now, but dear leader says I'm not)
Yes, the above are all excellent for distraction, denial and total numbwhiching. They make life managable. Easier to get by.
They are little rewards to how hard we all try. They make it easier to withstand the slings and arrows of daily life.
If they didn't, we wouldn't do them.
The problem? They all lead to predictable outcomes.
Hopelessness.
Meaningless.
Death.
All of them.
Short term "fixes" will never solve the big question:
What's it all about?
Ok. Perhaps you've answered this. Good for you.
It's for love, connection, a spiritual purpose, helping others.
Cool. Cool.
And yet you're still not COMPLETELY SATISFIED and all Zenned out. You've tried REALLY HARD to improve yourself and "make the world a better place."
You're not avoiding, denying or numbing yourself to your existential dilemma!!! You've leaned IN SHERYL!
But... here you are.
You have "tried everything" to be happy ... but still aren't. Perhaps you've attempted any of the following, in any particular order.
Volunteered
Obtained a degree in the helping sciences
Joined a political organization
Gave advice
Donated money to a cause
Filled out a customer service form
Used YELP
Believe "changing the world" is a thing
You're actively trying to answer the questions:
Who am I?
&
"What's this all about?"
Well, I think we'd all agree that this lady knows.
In Sanskrit they call this, "Shitasana."
I taught him yoga early because the planet is hot and possibly fucked for humans in 100 years (I hear) and yoga might be a great way for him to connect with a power greater than himself.
It was also a nice break from singing those stupid kid songs for 7 hours straight.
At some point, this child will learn that all living things die.
This lesson will start the day his father brings home a dog and says,
"Kids, I brought home a heartbreak 12 years from now!"
(That's a George Carlin joke.)
Humans are the only species with death awareness.
I think. I don't know.
Dolphins and some apes probably know.
And I knew a dog who once knew that he was going to die.
I wrote a story story about it.
It's on the next page.
Humans have always been up against the existential threat of death, but we distract, deny and anesthetize ourselves from what Kierkegard called "death anxiety."
To distract, deny, and continue to numb yourself from YOUR existential crisis, you've probably tried the following in no particular order.
alcohol
Ted Lasso (it's no Sopranos, people, settle down. it's cute, at best.)
drugs
overeating/undereating/vomiting
pharmaceuticals you don't need
pharmaceuticals that aren't yours
the internet (except this site, obv)
the news
porn that makes you feel worse after
gambling when you can't afford to
overthinking or obsessional thinking
auto play ON on any device
feeling like a victim, even if you were one of something
wishing the world was fair
faking a brain injury (I did this one in 5th grade!)
joining a cult (I think I'm doing this now, but dear leader says I'm not)
Yes, the above are all excellent for distraction, denial and total numbwhiching. They make life managable. Easier to get by.
They are little rewards to how hard we all try. They make it easier to withstand the slings and arrows of daily life.
If they didn't, we wouldn't do them.
The problem? They all lead to predictable outcomes.
Hopelessness.
Meaningless.
Death.
All of them.
Short term "fixes" will never solve the big question:
What's it all about?
Ok. Perhaps you've answered this. Good for you.
It's for love, connection, a spiritual purpose, helping others.
Cool. Cool.
And yet you're still not COMPLETELY SATISFIED and all Zenned out. You've tried REALLY HARD to improve yourself and "make the world a better place."
You're not avoiding, denying or numbing yourself to your existential dilemma!!! You've leaned IN SHERYL!
But... here you are.
You have "tried everything" to be happy ... but still aren't. Perhaps you've attempted any of the following, in any particular order.
Volunteered
Obtained a degree in the helping sciences
Joined a political organization
Gave advice
Donated money to a cause
Filled out a customer service form
Used YELP
Believe "changing the world" is a thing
You're actively trying to answer the questions:
Who am I?
&
"What's this all about?"
Well, I think we'd all agree that this lady knows.
I mean.
If I was her, I'd also pose and masturbate in front of a mirror all day.
But with my eyes open.
Staring right into that place where all life begins.
THE CLOACA.
