This is my big time vanity project.
My intention with this project is to
make you laugh,
make you think,
and explain to you dummies the meaning of life.
This project includes both
for the daily mysteries
and existential inquiries
of living, being, consciousness and poop.
This site may trigger you.
I don't care.
Consider yourself warned on both accounts.
Proceed with caution, petal, or you know...
lighten the fuck up and enjoy!
This site is not safe for work but I shouldn't have to tell you that.
This site IS safe for work if you work from home and/or you work at South Park or someplace else that values freedom of speech and not giving a fuck about being everybody's thang.
They also get cred for the first poop emoticon.
I personally don't require a warning before anything I see, hear or read.
Because I'm an adult and have learned how to handle all
And believe me, I've heard and read some crazy, sexist, racist shit in my time.
I've even had some filthy, cruel, awful things said right ... to ... me.
I've been physically threatened, criticized in front of co-workers, fat shamed on tv, blog outed as a cock-tease (that one was true), catcalled by douchebags, groped at 17 by the CEO of a global cereal brand (General Mills), and molested by a trusted family friend who knows who he is and what he did and has been living under the threat of being outed for 30 years.
I lived to share about all these things.
I learned not to require anyone, anything, the past, or the world to change.
I did the two things no other human can do for me.
I healed. I changed.
And now I'm good with all of it.
So, if you think you are to change the world,
I have three little words for you.
Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.
I know what you're thinking.
Taren, is that three words or five?
Great question, you clever thing.
I like you.
That link doesn't work.
All site links are likely to work some of the time.
You have to work for them, not the other way around.
Also, and alas ...
Life itself doesn't care what you think.
Life itself doesn't care how you feel.
Life itself doesn't care if you live or die.
Despite your misery, the grass keeps growing.
When you're in a bad mood, the earth spins.
No matter what you ultimately believe, it doesn't matter other than the meaning you give to what you say matters.
And, you get to say.
(Accepting this makes you a baller, a badass, someone I want to hang around, and is the key to total freedom, btw.)
You're almost done with this page BTW!
FUCK THIS IS SOOOOO LONG!!!!!
You've been reading for almost 3 minutes!!!!!!!
If you spend a good portion of your time avoiding getting triggered or controlling your "anxiety", or if your personal joy for living is impacted or threatened by anyone and you find yourself demanding the world to tip toe around what you think is "right" or "equal" or "just",
or if you "call people out" for not playing by your current rules that you think are good for the world, you are missing out on what is called "wisdom" or "perspective" or "understanding humans" or "being spiritually principled" or "the inevitability of dealing with total a-holes" or "being a grown up" or "taking responsibility for your life" or "happiness".
Learning to simply BE with everything, especially what you don't "like" without being a victim to the choices of 6 billion other people, will make you free.
Or, you know, just keep on doing what you're doing.
You get to do you. You really do.
It's all perfect.
Did you click on that, dummy?
Life itself is confronting, confusing, uncomfortable, unfair, wack-a-do and doesn't exist to please you. If you think it does, you're going to end up in a jail cell or a padded room.
Those ARE mutually exclusive, I've checked.
Okay, ready? We're almost done!!!
Who the f*ck are YOU?
I'm not kidding.
WHO ... do you think ... "you" ... are?
Wanna find out?
P.S. Just kidding about that next page link.
Use the list on the left, "you".